


Starry Eyes

by Sinistretoile



Category: The Martian (2015), The Martian - All Media Types, The Martian - Andy Weir
Genre: Angst and Porn, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Sex, F/M, Light Angst, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Porn with Feelings, Requited Unrequited Love, Semi-Public Sex, Sex, Smut, Unrequited Love, Woman on Top
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-10 01:00:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13493529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sinistretoile/pseuds/Sinistretoile
Summary: Unrequited love...isn't?





	Starry Eyes

I’d loved Dr. Chris Beck for years. I tried to deny it. We were only close friends. Right? That’s why the thought of him made me smile. Why being near him made my heart race and my thighs clench. Wait no, that’s not right.  
I was staring. Lewis caught it. She tapped my shoulder, startling me. “You ok?”  
“Fine, fine.”  
“You trying to read Beck’s mind then?”  
I sighed. “Not telepathic, captain.” I closed my book. “I’ll be in my bunk.” I missed Beck and Johanssen both watching me as I left. I dropped onto the bunk and covered my head with the pillow. I knew about their affair. It made my chest hurt and my belly twist in an unpleasant way.  
The knock on the door pulled me from my thoughts. “It’s open!” The door opened and the bed dipped. I knew from the heavy sigh it was Watney. “What do you want, Mark?”  
“You know he loves you right?”  
I sighed and slammed the pillow against the bed. “No, he doesn’t. He loves Johanssen.”  
Mark smirked and shook his head. “You’re wrong. He loves you. He always has. He just thinks you’re too good for him.”  
“How do you know this?”  
“I got him drunk.”  
“Nice try, Mark. We don’t have alcohol on the Ares.”  
“It was before we left.”  
I stared up at the ceiling for a long time then nudged Mark with my toes. “Wanna fuck?” He turned to me, smirking. I raised my eyebrow then reached for the waistband of my sweatpants, tugging it down until most of my bare mound was exposed.  
He licked his lips and shrugged. “Why not?” And I forgot the ache in my heart as Mark made me cum with his fingers first then his cock.  
*  
I sat in the mess, eating what was supposed to be a bowl of cereal when Johanssen sat down next to me, her tongue pressed between her teeth. I looked at her blankly as I chewed.  
“So you and Watney, eh?”  
“Me and Watney what?” I scooped up another spoonful of something that should have been Lucky Charms.  
“Beck and I heard you.” She looked around to make sure it was still just the two of us. I froze for a second then recovered before she turned back around. The man I loved and his girlfriend had heard me fucking his best friend. Oh, that was just perfect. I inwardly cringed but kept my face blank. “How long?”  
“How long what?”  
“How long have you and Mark been together? Before or after we left him?”  
“There is no how long, Beth. We fuck when we’re horny.” I shrugged. I bit back the comment that she was with the man I loved.  
She blinked then frowned. “You mean you’re not together?” She looked around as I stood up then walked around her.  
I laughed. “No.” I shook my head. “No, Mark just fulfills a purpose.” I tossed the rest of my food in the waste bin and walked away from her.  
“What purpose is that?”  
“To make me cum.” I paused in the doorway and looked at her over my shoulder. “He knows I love someone else.” Again, I didn’t see Beck walk into the room through the opposite door. He stopped out of sight of the both of us, stunned by my candor. And I went to go about my duties.  
*  
I paused outside the med bay. My heart thundered in my chest as I steeled myself for the last monthly check up. Taking a few deep breaths to calm my jangling nerves, I stepped through the doorway. Beck leaned against the counter, writing furiously. I knocked on the wall. “What’s up, doc? Am I late for my appointment?”  
Dr. Chris Beck looked up at me with startled eyes before he recovered. “Hey, you.” He smiled and glanced at the clock. “No, sweetheart, you’re right on time.” He closed the book he’d been writing in then moved around the table. He motioned to the gown on the table. “Change and I’ll be right back.”  
“Yes, doctor.” I smirked cheekily and he blushed. He ducked his head and hurried from the room. I stripped and hopped onto the exam table, draping the gown around me. He stepped back into the room, rubbing the back of his neck. When he looked up, he froze. His face was a mask of a man in pain. “Beck, you alright?” He swallowed. “Chris.”  
He jerked himself out of it. “Sorry, I’m fine. Just-“ He cut himself off and shook his head. “I tried to get out of this month’s physicals since we’ll be home in a few days, but Lewis wouldn’t hear of breaking protocol.”  
I laughed softly, shaking my head. “Because this entire mission has followed protocol?”  
He smiled then his eyes met mine. He swallowed then tentatively touched my cheek. “You’ve been avoiding me. Why?”  
I shrugged and looked away, tucking my hair behind my ears. “You’ve been spending more time with Johanssen. Figured I’d give you your space.” He pulled his hand away and let it drop then began to ask the routine questions. My answers never changed. I never felt ill or depressed. I loved it up here among the stars. My parents were both astronauts and I’d been conceived in space. So each mission felt like coming home.  
“Are you sexually active?”  
“Yes.” He paused. Yes, he’d heard us but now he had confirmation of what he’d heard.  
“You know I can’t put that down. You’ll get in trouble.”  
“As much trouble as you and Beth?” Maybe I wanted to say it. For him to admit that he’d chosen someone else above me.  
He sighed. “Point taken, but I’m still not putting it down.” I shrugged. He continued to examine my ears, lymph nodes, eyes, and throat. “Is there a chance you’re pregnant?”  
I laughed. “No.”  
“No?” He looked into my eyes, cradling my face. I’d dreamt of moments like this. Only he wasn’t leaning in to kiss me. His thumbs caressed my cheeks.  
“No, Chris.”  
With a sigh, he let his hands drop. “I have no problem lying on the forms but please, don’t lie to me.”  
“I’m not.” My brow furrowed. Beck shook his head as he turned away to log my answers into the monitors. “What does it matter to you? You’re with Beth.” He swallowed and shifted back and forth on his feet, looking everywhere but my face. I sat back and took a good look at him. His nostrils were flared and his jaw was clenched. I could see the tiny veins in his neck and forehead. “Does it really bother you that Mark and I fuck?” He turned his back to me, giving the monitor his full attention for my vitals and my answers. “Oh no, you don’t.” I hoped off the exam table and chased after him. “Answer me, Chris.”  
“Please stop.” His soft voice strained with some emotion that I didn’t want to believe.  
“Why?” My own voice was so small that it came out almost a whisper, and so very raw with feelings I couldn’t deny. He refused to look at me, his reflection in the monitor stern and unyielding. “Why, Chris?”  
“Because Beth doesn’t deserve it.”  
“Doesn’t deserve what?” He took longer to answer. I tugged at the rough hem of the gown. I didn’t think he was going to answer me. I sighed and let my shoulders drop.  
“To be hurt.” His mumbled answer stung like a slap in the face. “She doesn’t deserve to be hurt.”  
I couldn’t keep my incredulity off my face. “And I do?” His head snapped up. Clearly, he hadn’t thought of that. This man had been my friend for the better part of our adult lives. I’d loved him for most of that. I never thought he’d hurt me. I was wrong.  
“That’s not- that’s not what I meant.” He swiveled in the chair to face me.   
I took a step back from him, swallowing down my hurt and tears. I hugged myself tightly, unable to stop the word vomit than began to spill out of me. “No, Dr. Beck, I can’t be pregnant. Because Mark doesn’t cum inside me.”  
“Stop.”  
“I finish him off with my mouth or sometimes, my hand.”  
“Stop, Sweet.” His soft voice dropped to a whisper.  
“Or I let him cum on my tits.”  
“Stop!” My quiet, kind space boy slammed his fist on the table. I flinched and gasped, taken by surprise by his shift in demeanor. I swallowed, unable to tear my eyes away from his seething profile. His fists flexed, clenching and releasing.  
“To finish off the exam, Dr. Beck…yes, I’m experiencing pain and tightness in my chest. Yes, I’m experiencing shortness of breath. As well as shaking hands and blurry vision.”  
“Sweet-“ I dropped the gown and ran from the med bay, no longer fighting my tears.  
I heard Watney’s voice behind me. “Why’s Sweet streaking through the ship?”  
*  
I stayed locked in my quarters until I knew everyone had gone to bed. Only Lewis could override the lock, but I’m guessing she didn’t feel the need. I pulled my hoodie closer around me as I opened the cabin door. My clothes were folded in a neat stack on the corridor floor. My chest squeezed, but I refused to let myself feel anything for the man who no doubt had taken the care to fold my clothes and leave them outside my door. Carelessly, I tossed them inside onto the bed.  
I didn’t look up as I made my way to the galley. Everyone slept. I grabbed some water and sat on the wide ledge of one of the domes. The thing about space is…it’s light and dark at the same time. I gazed out into the billions of stars and planets. I’d be back on earth soon.  
“Can I sit?” I looked up at Beck. He looked so soft and warm in his hoodie and grey sweatpants. My heart squeezed in my chest. I shrugged and scooted over even though he had more than enough room to sit down on the ledge. With a deep exhalation, he sat down next to me. “About earlier-“  
I shrugged. “No, I get it. You love Beth. I’ve known about you two for a while. I’m-“ I sighed, shaking my head at myself and the tears that stung my eyes and tightened my throat. “I’m happy for you two.”  
“I’m not.” I crooked my head to look at him. “I’m not in love with her. I mean, I don’t love Beth.” He looked down at my hands in my lap. “I think she knew. It didn’t hurt her any less though when I ended things.” He covered both my hands with his. “Sweetheart, I love you.” His voice shook. “I should have told you a long, long time ago.” He took my chin and tilted my face up until we were looking into each other’s eyes.  
I struggled with the words that I’d been dying to say and now that Beck had said them, they desiccated in my throat. I did the only thing I could think of. I kissed him, quick and hard and closed-mouth. He grunted against me and wrapped his arms around my waist. His tongue prodded my lips and they opened. Our tongues swirled and glided along each other.  
I gasped as Chris pulled me onto his lap then pulled away, gazing up at me. “Please say you feel the same.”  
“I do, Beck. I love you. I’ve loved you for years.” I kissed him again, threading my fingers into his hair. He groaned at the gentle tug on the ends. I braced my hand on the glass as he pulled my body closer and off-balance. I felt his hardening cock pressed against my cunt. He broke the kiss again to trail kisses from my lips along my jaw to my ear. “Chris, we should-we should stop.”  
“Why?”  
“This is all moving so fast.”  
“We’ve waited far too long.” He had a point. “If you’re worried about Johanssen, don’t. She’s beautiful, smart and kind. She’ll find someone better than me.”  
“There is no one better.” My soft space boy blushed, ducking his head. His lips brushed my collarbone.   
“Do you know how many times I’ve thought about this moment?” He tilted his head to gaze up at me. “How many nights I’ve touched myself wishing and hoping and praying that one day it would be you? Make love with me among the stars before we go back to earth.”  
I kissed him again, murmured ‘yes’ breathlessly against his lips. All softness and lazy touch fell away into a frantic scramble to pull the clothes from our bodies. My hoodie then his tee fell to the floor, eager fingertips and palms touched warm, supple flesh. The sweatpants fell to the floor, long legs stepping out of them. I straddled his lap again.  
“Fuck, you’re so breathtaking.” His palms flattened against my back then skimmed up, pulling me against his smooth, solid chest. His lips and teeth found my pulse for him to suck and nibble. My gasping moan spurred him on. He lifted his hips to nudge his cock against my dripping folds.  
“Please, Chris, I need you inside me.”  
His teeth scraped my chin then his large, calloused hands urged me higher. I reached between us to hold his cock straight then lowered down onto it. We both groaned at the stretch of him, taking a moment to just feel each other. His palms caressed my back and ass as his lips dropped kisses on the column of my neck and collarbone.  
We wanted this to be sweet and lazy but the moment he moved, dragging his thick cock along my folds, my loud moan echoed off the large, quiet expanse of the Ares common room. Beck shushed me and my answering whimper was almost as a loud as my moan.  
“You have to be quiet, pretty baby.”  
“Beck-“ His hand covered my mouth in a tight grip. I gasped behind his hand then that gasp became a loud, muffled moan as his hips snapped up. He shushed me, keeping his hand over my mouth. His dark, lust-blown eyes never leaving mine as he fucked me hard and with a purpose. I braced my hand against the glass and began to ride him as hard as he fucked me, leaning into his grip. I whimpered and licked and bit his palm.  
Beck buried his face in my neck, setting his teeth where my shoulder met my neck. My flesh muffled his grunts and groans. His strained whisper in the my ear shoved me violently over the edge. “Cum for me, starry eyes.” I bit into his palm to muffle my scream, my eyes flashing open to the see the stars beyond on the glass as I came. Beck leaned back to watch my orgasm overtake me. “Fuck, you’re so perfect.” He kissed me, sloppily and hard as he came, whimpering into my mouth. I rested my forehead against his, both of us panting for breath. “Dinner, dancing, more making love. As soon as we’re debriefed and released from the mission.”  
“Deal, Beck. Now, let’s get dressed before Lewis catches us.”  
“Too late!” Beck and I looked over my shoulder to see her turning on her heel and walking back out of the common room. Our laughter bubbled up until he kissed me again. We left our clothes in a pile by the window as he carried me back to my room and he made me see stars with his tongue until it was time for breakfast.


End file.
